at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
