i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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