Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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