do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
