I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
