I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
