Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
