she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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