when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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