Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Farmville is her only friend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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