Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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