even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
