Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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