I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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