pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my shit smells like andre
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
