wakey wakey hands off snakey
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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