Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
