Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just gift wrapped bread.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
