We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
