Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
