i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
third nipple confirmed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
