Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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