I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
