theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
