If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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