He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
