well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
