took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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