if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
