i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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