You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
