tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
