Define "chronic" masturbator.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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