What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
