I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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