I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
