just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize