who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize