He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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