so let's talk penis.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize