a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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