I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
