So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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