from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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