i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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