I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize