How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
