So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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