aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
