I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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