So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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