areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
