Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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