oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize