Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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