So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
