Well apparently he's into motor boating.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize