John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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