how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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