??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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